


Accept/Reject

by sidium



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asexuality, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2013-09-26
Packaged: 2017-12-27 16:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidium/pseuds/sidium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of Bruce's favorite things about Darcy is her ability to take everything in stride; super-soldiers, Asgardians, SHIELD, even his own alter ego. </p><p>But what if this isn't one of those things?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accept/Reject

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit. I posted the rough draft yesterday. 
> 
> Here's the finished fic. -_-

It’s been four months with Darcy, Bruce muses as paces through his apartment and tries to calm his thoughts that feel like they’re spiraling out of control. Four months of something actually close to happy. While their official dates haven’t been very frequent, they’ve had countless “dates;” if you want to count Darcy coming into his lab, pestering him to take a break and the time they spend eating and talking. Bruce loves those times, when she comes into the lab, carrying whatever take-out she decided they should have; stepping so carefully, as though she were afraid her presence alone might break something. They’ll camp out on the couch, laughing and talking, as though they’ve been together forever.   
  
They talk about everything from the progress of his latest project; her job at SHIELD; random bits of news and celebrity gossip he doesn't know about, having spent all his time in the lab; and pretty much everything in between. Occasionally, their talks cleverly turn into impromptu make out sessions, ending late when they fall asleep on the couch together. (The first time, he’ll admit, a small part of him was afraid of Tony finding out, and teasing him for it. Then he realized he’d already caught Tony in the same situation with Steve.)

When it all first started, she reminded him of Betty, and that alone almost ended the relationship. It wasn’t long before he knew her well enough to see all the differences, vast as some of them were, and slowly let it go.

Things are good between them. He wishes he could go so far as to say things were great, even; except for one little thing. One little thing that Bruce knows is keeping the relationship for being as  honest as it should be. Affection between them is easy; they kiss, they hold hands, they use every excuse in the book to touch each other before they just give up and latch on to each other like they both want. They’ve even slept in the same bed or couch or whatever. But even though they’re sleeping together, they’re not... sleeping together. In fact, they’re not doing anything actually sexual together and Darcy’s starting to notice. Actually, she’s way past starting to notice. He can’t blame her, most guys would be ecstatic at a chance to be with her, and he… he has a lot of explaining to do.

Starting tonight. After last night’s not-so-subtle pull-away just when things were getting… intense, she finally huffed a barely suppressed sigh and asked what the flippin’ deal was. He felt awful and kept apologizing, but she hadn’t relented, asking if it was something she was doing wrong, or if he was afraid of losing control of the Other Guy, or what. With a sick sense of dread deep in his chest, he told her he would explain everything the next night. Give him some time to figure out how he could explain something most people just didn’t get. They’d sit down with some take-out, and everything would feel blissfully normal. Then he’d confess the whole situation and, if he was lucky, they’d come out as friends and everything would be... okay.  

Well, that’s a lie, actually. Having Darcy as a friend would tear him apart and be miles away from “okay.” It wouldn’t be the same, and he knows what that sense of loss feels like, but he’d deal, as long as she didn’t leave him completely.

He sits down on the edge of the couch, head cradled in his hands waiting for both Darcy and the Chinese delivery guy; trying hard not to have a panic attack at the situation that was about to occur (and  fortunately winning). He knew this would happen eventually. It always did before the Other Guy, why would it ever change? He’s not sure how he thought he could avoid this, as though Darcy would never ask why he acted like her pants were coated with poison or why he was never pushing for things to go farther. He mentally beats his head against a wall.

The knock on the door bursts his bubble of mental frustration, and he slowly gets up to answer it. There’s no delivery guy when he opens the door, just Darcy standing there in jeans and a grey t-shirt, attempting to read the containers of Chinese take-out through the sides of the plastic bags they’re in.

“What I wanna know,” Darcy says, as she walks into the apartment, not even glancing at Bruce, “is how you ordered the food without me. How the hell did you know what I wanted?”

Bruce grins, “Hello to you, too.” He says amused, watching as she drops the bags on the coffee table, and steps back towards him.

“Ah, my apologies,” She says, mock-apologetically, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, “Hello.” She kisses him soft and sweet, and he sinks into it, making sure to fully enjoy what may just be their last night of kissing. Her lips are plush, soft and warm pressed against his and she makes the cutest little noise when he playfully bites at the lower one as she pulls away.

“Okay, no.” She says, tapping him on the nose. “No making out right now. Serious talk. And food. First, food.”

“Yeah, okay.” He agrees quietly, sitting back down on the couch, watching her pull out containers and open them. She gives them a sniff and almost every one of them earns him a sound of delight. She’s exceptionally pleased with the wontons and lo mein, which she correctly assumes are hers. She hands him the container of curried chicken and container of shrimp fried rice with a disgusted wrinkle of her nose that he can’t help but laugh at.

They settle down with their respective foods, some neutrals sitting between them, waiting to be claimed; Pad Thai Chicken, spring rolls, tofu with mushrooms, and garlic pork. They always order more food than they actually want, and neither of them really knows why.  

Darcy doesn’t hesitate to dig in, enthusiastic about this as she is about most things, but Bruce can’t calm his stomach (or his mind) down enough to even entertain the idea of eating.

He digs around his container of chicken with his chopsticks, but makes no move to actually eat.

A comfortable silence settles. At least for a few minutes.

“You know what?” Darcy says, eyeing the container in his hands and setting down her own. “I’m thinking maybe food should come second.” She gently takes Bruce’s out of his hands and sets it next to hers. He doesn’t even try to stop her.

His hands fall uselessly in his lap and his throat goes dry.

“Bruce.” She says, softly, “You’re starting to scare me. What’s the deal?”

“I love you.” He says suddenly. He’s not sure why he thought now would be a good time to say that for the first time, but it’s true. At least he can say that much. He glances away from his hands, up at Darcy and he’s glad to see she at least doesn’t look freaked out. “I know it’s too early to say that, I shouldn’t have-”

“I love you, too.” she interrupts, looking at him with bright fondness and moving closer to run a hand through his curls. A shiver slides down his spine at the contact and he barely registers pressing back against her hand. “But that’s obviously not the problem, is it?” She asks, softly.

“No.” He admits, quietly, still staring at his hands. “No, it’s not.” A beat of silence passes, and she keeps her hand stroking through his hair. “It’s me.” He blurts out suddenly, “not- not you. Just… for the record.”

“Okay.” Darcy acknowledges, not stopping the hand in his hair, her voice patient and calm. “That helps narrow it down a little. Wanna keep going?” He’s never heard her sound so subdued, as though she were coaxing a frightened animal out of a corner.

“It’s… I’ve always been like this, and I’ve tried.” He stops to huff out a breath, trying to get his bearings. “I’ve tried to act like I’m not. Tried to give people what they wanted, but it… was always difficult.”

“What do you think I want?”

“A normal relationship.” He says, sardonically. He can hear his own self-loathing in his voice, and the way her hand pauses in his hair, he knows she heard it, too.

“And why can’t I have that with you?” She questions, gently.

“I’m asexual.” He says, resigned; closing his eyes and sighing. There. It was said. He can watch her leave and think about all the what-ifs and maybe, if life likes him enough, he won’t totally lose her. She may even be open-minded enough to not think he’s broken.

“Ohhh...” She says, with an air of realization, and he nods without opening his eyes. “Ha, I can’t believe I actually know what that is. Who would’ve thunk?” Her voice isn’t judgemental or disgusted, it’s almost excited.

“You what?” He asks, opening his eyes and looking at her, he wasn’t expecting her to know what he was talking about. No one ever does.

“Yeah, I knew a girl back in high school, her name was Katie and she was super-nice, friends with like everyone. Right before graduation, we found out she was asexual.” Darcy pauses for a moment. “That’s when you don’t wanna sleep with like, anyone, right?” She asks, like a child who wants a gold star for a right answer, and he doesn’t understand how she’s just accepting this so easily. Maybe she thinks he’s kidding.

“Uh, something like that, yeah.”

“And you’re asexual.” She says, and he gives a short nod in confirmation.

“Yeah.” He braces himself for her reaction, for the proverbial shit to hit the fan.

“Well, I gotta say, that explains a helluva lot. Ha.” She says, grinning triumphantly, picking up her wontons and popping one in her mouth.

“Yeah, and I get that this isn’t what you signed up for, and if you wanted to leave, I wouldn’t blame you.” Bruce says, staring at his hands. He knows it’s not fair to ask her to stay, and as much as it hurts him, he’s not going to guilt her into it.

“I’m sorry, did you just admit to leprosy or asexuality?” She asks, and he looks up at her to see her sitting cross-legged on the sofa, facing him and pointing at him with a chopstick. His eyebrows burrow in confusion.

“Uh… the latter?” He says, uncertainly. He doesn’t get it.

“Then calm down, I’m not going anywhere, you goon.” She says, shaking her head. She picks another wonton up carefully, and it wobbles in her chopsticks. She barely manages to get it to her mouth before it drops.

“You’re… you’re okay with this?” He asks, hesitantly. This was so far from what he was expecting he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do.

“Yep.” She says, simply, around a mouthful of wonton.

“I don’t… I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.” He admits, rubbing his eyes hard with the heels of his hands.

“What?” She asks, nudging him with her foot.

“You realize what this means, right?” He asks, running his hands over his face.

“Uh, my pants are a foreign territory you never wish to explore?” She says, with a smirk.

“Seriously, Darcy.” He can’t joke about this. She has to understand the enormity of this. Even if she can make peace with the age difference, the personality differences and the fact his alter ego is a giant rage beast, this isn’t something to be taken lightly. This is important.

“I am being serious.” She says, defensively.

“Darcy, this means no sex. Like, ever.” He says, gesticulating with his hands, and she nods.

“I know.” Her tone sounds like she’s speaking to a five-year-old who’s convinced she doesn’t understand blue and red make purple.

“People break up over this. People have broken up with me over this.” He continues, voice raising, “People get divorced for this kind of thing. Sex is important to people!”

“What, do you want me to get mad?” She asks, sounding genuinely confused.

“No! Just… think about it.” He says, voice quieting,  “Really, really think about it. All the implications of it.”

“Bruce.” She says, “I don’t need to. It’s you. Whatever you’ve got, I can handle it. And if, for some reason, it becomes a problem in the future, we’ll work it out.”

“How… how are you okay with this?” He asks, slowly.  She sighs, and sets her container down. She slowly moves so she has a knee on either side of his hips and she’s sitting on his knees. They’ve been in this position before and he runs his hands up her back.

“I love you. Didn’t I just say that?” She asks, her voice more serious than it has been in the whole conversation.

“Yeah.” He says, gazing up at her, her position putting her an inch or two taller for the moment. She reaches up to run the back of her knuckles against the stubble of his cheek.

“I love you. I love the way you hug me, I love the way you look when you sleep, I love the way you prank people and then totally convince them it wasn’t you. I love how you care about other people, and how you always make me laugh, even when I’m absolutely furious. I love so many things about you. I love you. Notice how your dick wasn’t on that list?” She says, and he’s stunned. He feels the want to believe her so much, he can feel it in his spine all the way up into his teeth.

“Darcy… You’re going to want sex, eventually. It’s normal. You shouldn’t have to give that up for me.” He insists, voice quiet and determined.

“Excuse you, I know I don’t have to do shit.” She says with snark, grinning.

“Then-”

“And I know what I want.” She leans forward to place a kiss on the tip of his nose. He reaches up to brush a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Are you gonna get mad if I take advantage of the pulsating shower-head in my bathroom?” She asks, still grinning wide.

“Uh, no.” He says after a stunned second, his hand stilling in her hair.

“Are you gonna try to make me feel guilty for my dildo collection that I entertain myself with regularly?” She says, smiling, obviously enjoying the flush he can feel spreading over his face and down his neck.

“No.” He says instantly, because really, he doesn’t care.

“Then what’s the problem?” She asks, reaching up to frame his face in her hands, thumbs stroking the rough stubbled skin in front of his ears.

“I… don’t know. This… this seems too easy.” He admits, sighing deeply.

“That’s because it is easy, and I’m sorry anyone made you feel like it wasn’t.”

“So… you don’t think I’m broken?” He asked, hopefully. He can’t help it. He has to ask.

“Hey, fuck that. You’re not broken.” She says, voice sharp with annoyance, and he sighs with relief. “Who the fuck told you that?”

“It was… I mean, they were-” Bruce fumbles, not wanting to delve into that particular subject, “Not important, it’s not. The point is, you don’t care?” He says, finally letting the hope inside of him breathe. Maybe there’s an actual chance. She sits up and turns to face him again.

“Hey, I care, don’t ever think I don’t.” She says, moving to sit back down next to him, “But it’s not a big deal. We’re gonna sit here, chill out, eat some awesome Chinese, and talk. Maybe we’ll talk about your work, maybe we’ll talk about mine. Maybe we’ll take about the birthday party I’m planning for Jane, or not.” She hands him back his chicken and he suddenly realizes how hungry he is.

“At some point,” she continues, “we are going to discuss what you’re okay with, touchy-wise, and what you’re not, because that shit’s important.” She nods with mock-seriousness, and he grins, leaning forward to bury his face in her neck, he hears her giggle and he can’t ignore the warm glow in his chest as she nuzzles him back.

\---------

“So… kissing is in; making out is okay; cuddling is encouraged; playing with your hair is a big yes; I’m getting the feeling it’s basically ‘waist-up approved.’” Darcy recites as she ticks each note off on a finger. The Chinese food has been picked over, mostly empty containers scattered on the coffee table and as predicted, they’ve talked about a lot before approaching the subject again.

“Basically, yeah.” He says, nodding agreeably. It’s a little more complicated than that, but she’s close enough. They can deal with the details as they come along. She stretches, putting her feet in his lap and taking up most of the sofa.

“How about me shirtless?” She asks, suddenly.

“That would be… okay.” He says, taken slightly aback. He hadn’t really thought about just plain nudity.

“Be honest with me, Bruce, you gotta let me know what you’re cool with and what you’re not cool with if this is gonna work.” She says, the last word devolving into a yawn.

“I know.” He says, seriously.

“So, if I show up in your bedroom with no top on, completely nude from the waist up, are my voluptuously awesome breasts going to send you into a panic attack?” She asks, wiggling her eyebrows mock-seductively, and he laughs.

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Cool. So, aside from making an actual spreadsheet checklist, I think we’ve covered pretty much everything.” She says, with a tone of finality.

“We might consider one of those.” He suggests, and it’s her turn to laugh.

“Ha, yeah. Have fun typing that shit out.”

A moment passes and a thought that’s been building in his mind renders him speechless.

“Bruce, I can hear you thinking.” Darcy says, eyes closed, face partially smushed into the couch and he has to resist the urge to lie down next to her. He has to say it.

“You realize there are dozens of guys in SHIELD who would kill someone to be with you, right?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper. He has to point out that she has a choice. He has to know she’s choosing this, not out of obligation or because she doesn’t think she has options, because Bruce knows she does. He’s heard guys talking about her when she’s not around, even some girls.

“Ha, sucks to be them.” Darcy says, sarcastic tone leaving no room for argument and Bruce sighs with relief.

“I’m still… having a hard time believing this.” He admits, but then he gives in. Takes her feet out of his lap and stretches alongside her, trapping her between him and the back of the couch.

“I know, just give it time. I’m not going anywhere.” Darcy says, wrapping her arms around him.

\-------

It’s a few nights later when she actually manages to convince him. He’s spent too many hours in the lab with Tony, and exhaustion has set in down to his bones. He barely managed to shower before collapsing into bed and he’s almost completely asleep when a quiet voice wakes him up.

“Hey,” He slowly cracks one eye open to see Darcy in a purple t-shirt and blue pajama pants standing at the foot of his bed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks, willing himself to sit up and losing.

“Just kinda missed you, can I stay here for the night?” She asks, and he wants to laugh at the hesitancy in her voice, like he could ever say ‘no’; but he’s too tired.

“Of course.” He says, sliding back a bit, making room for her.

“Yay.” She says, quietly, smiling bright and sliding under the covers next to him, cuddling up to his side.

“And look at me.” She says playfully, “Keeping my hands to myself and everything!”

Bruce can’t help the laughter that bubbles up in his throat. “Oh my god, I love you.” He says, voice slightly muffled against the pillow. Her easy acceptance is easily the best thing in his life, and he can’t imagine what would’ve happened if she’d actually left him. He can feel her smiling against his neck as they both give to their exhaustion.

Bruce isn’t sure if he believes in God, he’s always been a skeptic; but just before he goes to sleep, he silently sends up a little prayer of thanks. Just in case.


End file.
